We settle down and bring your weekend to an end with some easy listening music. Lasts only about 23 mins cuz I don’t want to keep you up too late

*Just click the link below and either save it to your computer and open it in iTunes or open it directly into iTunes to listen! Thanks!

MP3 File

This podcast is my first one and I discuss tons of things: Justin Bieber’s Haircut, Two And A Half Men being suspended, Donkey Heart Attack, Toddler Smoking Pot, Lindsey Lohan, Academy Awards, Condom Robbery, and I’ll also have an Ask Chase segment as well as an inspirational quote/story to end the show and even some celebrity gossip every once in a while. Check it out and tell me what you think.

*Just click the link below and either save it to your computer and open it in iTunes or open it directly into iTunes to listen! Thanks!

MP3 File

I am currently reading a book entitled The Commitment by Dan Savage and I have come across a wonderful excerpt I would like to share.  This section is referring to Plato’s theory of romantic love:

“Human beings were once two people combined, Plato wrote, with two heads, two sets of legs, and two sets of arms.  They were three sexes: humans with two male halves; humans with two female halves; and humans with one male and one female half.  Zeus [the greek god] punished humanity for some imagined slight by cutting all the two-headed, four-legged people in half, condemning us to wander the earth in search of our missing other halves.  Homosexuals were originally part of a male/male whole, lesbians were part of a female/female whole; and heterosexuals were part of a male/female whole.

‘And so,’ Plato wrote, ‘when a person meets the half that is his very own, whatever his orientation…something wonderful happens: The two are struck from their senses by love, by a sense of belonging to one another, and by desire, and they don’t want to be separated from one another, not even for a moment.  These are the people who finish out their lives together.

Even if we’re lucky enough to find our other halves, though, being in two separate bodies means that one half is fated to die before the other, leaving behind countless [widows and widowers].

Plato addressed this, too.  ‘What is it you humans beings want from each other?’ a god asks a young couple.  ‘Is this your heart’s desire then–for the two of you to become parts of the same whole, as near as can be, never to separate day or night?  Because if that’s your desire, I’ll weld you together and join you into something naturally whole, so that the two of you are made into one.’  No couple that received such an offer would turn it down, Plato wrote, because ‘No one would find anything else that he wanted.’

It’s a nice thought, but the ever-so-sweet-to-think-about ‘one flesh’ idea falls apart when you threaten to actualyl make one flesh out of two people.  I don’t think it’s possible for me to be more in love with [my boyfriend] than I am now, but I can’t imagine a worse fate than being welded to [him].  Like all sane couples, we have to spend time apart.  I may live in fear of being permantently separated from [him], but that doesn’t mean I want to be permanently joined to him, either.” 

This excerpt really made me think a lot.  It gave me an “ah-ha” moment that I couldn’t help but share with you.  I’ve heard so many theories about our “other half” but this is probably my favorite.  Not only is it explained in a very interesting manner but it also makes sense.  Please keep in mind that greek theories are often very, um, strange, yet it doesn’t take away from the meaning behind the story.  Ask anyone that is truly in love and they will tell you they have found their life partner, their other half.  This just strengthens my theory that you can only SHARE true love with one other person.  You may love someone, or someone may love you but until you find that “one” I don’t think you will SHARE true love. 

That’s just my opinion…what do you think?

Feeling broken
Barely holding on
But there’s just something so strong
Somewhere inside me
And I am down but I’ll get up again
Don’t count me out just yet

I’ve been brought down to my knees
And I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I’ll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven’t seen the last of me
You haven’t seen the last of me

They can say that
I won’t stay around
But I’m gonna stand my ground
You’re not gonna stop me
You don’t know me
You don’t know who I am
Don’t count me out so fast

I’ve been brought down to my knees
And I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I’ll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
You haven’t seen the last of me

There will be no fade out
This is not the end
I’m down now
But i’ll be standing tall again
Times are hard but
I was built tough
I’m gonna show you all what I’m made of

I’ve been brought down to my knees
And I’ve been pushed way past the point of breaking
But I can take it
I’ll be back
Back on my feet
This is far from over
I am far from over
You haven’t seen the last of me

No no
I’m not going nowhere
I’m staying right here
Oh no
You won’t see me begging
I’m not taking my bow
Can’t stop me
It’s not the end
You haven’t seen the last of me
Oh no
You haven’t seen the last of me
You haven’t seen the last of me

“It Gets Better”

When you feel that suicide is the only way

When you think that you can’t live another day

When people tell you that you’re wrong

When your friends tell you that you don’t belong

When others tell you that you don’t matter

When you feel like your life is about to shatter

When you simply don’t understand

When no one is willing to take your hand

When your parents tell you that you have to change

When others tell you that your lifestyle is strange

When your body aches from the pain inside

When all you want to do is run and hide

When your family chooses to kick you out

When the words “I love you” have been masked with a shout

When all these things happen, no matter what they say just remember
it gets better each and every day.

Written by Chase Ferrell

I close my eyes
in a world so dark
I lift my soul
put it falls apart.

I hold onto you
but you slip away
I was never prepared
for this dreadful day.

You leave me, alone
but I still feel you here
I sit all alone
but somehow you’re near.

I’ve cried many tears
I’ve shed much sorrow
I only wish now
that you’d be here tomorrow.

They say time heals
but I disagree
For time only deepens
the pain within me.

I close my eyes
in this dreadful place.
For when I do
I see your face.

I kiss your lips
and touch your cheek
You are my strength
when my body is weak.

I hold onto your warmth
I hold onto your light
For this world is so dark
And it’s so cold in the night.

Your kiss is so soft
Your hold is so strong
How can something so right
be said to be wrong.

Your touch gives me chills
Your voice wakes my spirit
For within my crushed heart
I long just to hear it.

You turn to me
and say you must go
But all I can do
is answer you, “No.”

You wipe my tear
as you turn to walk
I don’t have the strength
to move or to talk.

I watch you leave
and I grab my heart
For your leaving me again
is tearing me apart.

I’ve been through this
many times now
But I always manage
to still live somehow.

I open my eyes
and see the light.
For the only time I see you
is during the night.

“The main message the book taught me is this: Be you. If others don’t like or approve of who you are then you don’t need them in your life. Don’t worry about the negative thoughts and opinions of others for we all eventually realize we are simply a “spiritual being having a human experience”. We are not made up of the superficial things this world deems important and the real power comes from within our spirit, mind and heart. Never let someone put out your candle for if your candle burns bright enough it will shine for others to see and will eventually lead someone home so that they may find their own candle and have the strength within to light it. You will create a small splash and the ripples of your tiny drop will soon create a wave big enough to carry the world. Others will see your strength and act upon it. They will feel your confidence and learn from it. They will develop his or her own sense of self and it is all due to YOUR sense of self. Being different is never bad. Being different means you have the ability to withstand what this “cookie-cutter” world will throw at you. You are taught in Sunday School that it is wrong to be gay, but baby, if you like men then grab you one and get to smoochin’! We are taught in school that being uniform is great because it means everyone fits in; however, this small decision leads to the big conclusion that taking the identity of a school child will only result in the confusion and self hate of an adult. So if you feel like spiking your hair and painting your nails black then go for it! For in the end, if you deny yourself the freedom to be you, then you will suffer the repercussions from the selfish act to please others.

I often hear many people complain about what someone said or, even more frequently, I hear people talk about someone else. Susie hates Sarah and she talks about her all the time. She talks about her outfits, her sense of style, the way she smells like an old lady that lives with too many cats and she is constantly bringing up the fact that she grows facial hair. Susie talks to everyone about Sarah and everyone finds it extremely funny; however, when Sarah comes around, Susie acts as though they are best friends. She compliments her outfit, tells her how great she is looking and even encourages her to continue using her face cream because it is making her look “ten years younger”! The people around Susie are often confused as she tells Sarah these things knowing that she does not really feel that way. They leave with a fake smile and, in the back of their minds, worry about what Susie may think about them. It makes them doubt their trust for her and it drops their amount of respect they have for her as well. Susie is clueless to this fact and continues, day in and day out, to do the same charade. Before long people start talking about Susie, and then someone has the guts to tell Sarah what Susie truly thinks of her. Sarah is hurt but she continues to allow Susie to do this things. She does not say a word for fear of confrontation. This vicious cycle will continue until someone steps in and breaks it. Once someone begins to teach that it’s okay to tell others how you REALLY feel then the world will become a much less complicated place. One of my coworkers helped teach me that the world is full of twisted, mean and most times, confused people. They are always out for personal gain and they love the drama that comes with it. People quickly become addicted to drama and attention, therefore, they will create it themselves if the drama is not stirring up enough to please them. People spread rumors, and people try to start arguments. Most of these people are what I refer to as “puppies”. They are always eager to bark and growl at someone or something when it is at a safe distance; however, once that object/person/animal comes closer they will, 98% of the time, run away with their tail between their legs. They like drama only when they think it won’t come back to bite them. Then you have people that are “pits” (pit bulls). They will start drama but then if they are confronted with it, they will fight to the death. They stand behind what they believe and whether or not their belief is one of a positive nature they will firmly support their argument. To state an example I’ll continue to use Susie and Sarah. Say Susie is a “puppy”. She stirs up drama but then she doesn’t have the guts to tell Sarah all of these terrible things to her face. Let’s assume Sarah is a “pit”. When someone decides to tell Sarah she realizes the best way to solve the problem is to confront Susie. Susie denies the claims and continues to compliment Sarah hoping to change the subject; however, Sarah stands strong in her defense and eventually tells Susie to “get lost”. Susie walks away with her tail between her legs, so to speak, and Sarah walks with her chest held high knowing she just did the one thing that only about 10% of the American population can…stand up for themselves. If I think something about someone I’m not afraid to tell them. My coworker once said, “Hun I don’t hold back. If I hate you then you’ll know it. I ain’t got time for gossip. It’s for babies.” What she said could not be more true. If I’m honest with someone and they are offended then I apologize but my fear of hurting their feelings will not keep me from being honest. Chances are if I’m going to say it behind your back then I will also tell you to your face. I fully believe in karma and I know that if I spend all my time gossiping and talking about others then that negative energy will eventually come back around and bite me in the ass. I tell my friends that if I ever say or do something that offends or upsets them, I want to know. If I wear an outrageous outfit (that I think looks fantastic), I want to know. If I smell like a squashed possum run over by a two-ton truck on a hot summer day, I want to know. These things are not only because I want to teach them that it’s okay to tell your true feelings, but I also want them to know that I will respect them more if they tell me how they truly feel. My best friend and I get along so well because of this very fact. We don’t hold back and we tell it like it is. We never hold grudges because we let it out when it first begins to bother us. There is never any built up tension in our relationship because we both know how the other one feels at all times. Our communication is key to a successful relationship.

You must constantly remind yourself that you, and only you, holds the key to your happiness. A positive mind makes for a positive body. If you are happily living your life and being successful others will attempt to pull you down. They don’t want to see you strive if they know they are stuck in the mud. RuPaul says in his book that you have to let go of these people. Move on and you will eventually attract new friends that will be happy for your accomplishments and excited for your goals. They will celebrate your progress instead of demeaning it. Negative people attract negative people so let them have their own party, but positive people also attract people of like nature. Now that is the party to attend! Search for those people. Stay on the look out for people with positive energy and goals to match. Those are the people that will encourage you and those are the friends that will boost you up when you feel it’s not worth the struggle to continue. They will remind you of your dreams and keep reiterating that you dreams ARE in reach. My coworkers and close friends are all perfect examples of these types of people. I have told several close friends to either lighten up or get to steppin’. People host “pity parties” but I’ve informed them that I will not attend. I’ve gone through depression, I’ve gone through pain, and I’ve come out on top. I wake up every morning and remind myself that I am in control and that each day will be better than the one before. Sure, I could lie in bed all day crying and feeling sorry for myself, but what good will that do? It serves no positive purpose and it only fuels my negative thoughts. That fire does not need any fuel! It’s okay to feel bad for a few minutes and to have a break down every once in a while, but then get back up and go on. Don’t expect sympathy from people because most people are “puppies” and will only give you sympathy to then turn around and talk about you AND your problems to those around you. Don’t let others see your weak spots because they will surely take advantage of them. It goes back to the fact that everyone is out for personal gain. Your weak spots are a way for them to take you down, then they are one step closer to getting ahead everyone else in this crazy race called life. Step back everyone once in a while and instead of worrying about the things you don’t have, enjoy the things you do. Take a walk, go to dinner with a friend, buy a new outfit. Money is printed everyday, but the people in your life won’t last forever. Don’t hold back. Enjoy life. But most importantly; Live life.”

My dad found out I did Drag and he was furious.  He kicked me out and disowned  me then a day or two later he came out to work to ask me to come back home.  I can tell he’s really trying but it’s just so hard for me to forgive him for the stuff he said.

Bobby’s Haven is still going strong…keep telling people about it! http://www.BobbysHaven.org

June is coming up in about a week and for those of you that aren’t aware, June is GAY PRIDE MONTH!!!  I’ll be attending Nashville Pride on June 19 and I can’t freakin wait!  I’m going in Drag and I couldn’t be more excited! Then in the Fall I’ll be going to Atlanta Pride and Memphis Pride.  I’m gonna be one big ball of Pride lol.

Um I guess that’s it for now lol.  I promise I’ll try to start posting again.  I’ve got wifi at my house now so I’ll be on my laptop more often

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
SON: ‘Daddy, may I ask you a question?’
DAD: ‘Yeah sure, what it is?’ replied the man.
SON: ‘Daddy, how much do you make an hour?’
DAD: ‘That’s none of your business. Why do you ask such a thing?’ the man said angrily.
SON: ‘I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?’

DAD: ‘If you must know, I make $20 an hour.’
SON: ‘Oh,’ the little boy replied, with his head down.
SON: “Daddy, may I please borrow $5?”
The father was furious, ‘If the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you are being so selfish. I don’t work hard everyday for such childish frivolities.’
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door..
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy’s questions. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think:
Maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $5 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door.
‘Are you asleep, son?’ He asked.
‘No Daddy, I’m awake,’ replied the boy.
‘I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier’ said the man. ‘It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $5 you asked for.’
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. ‘Oh, thank you Daddy!’ he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
The man saw that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
The little boy slowly counted out his money, and then looked up at his Father.
‘Why do you want more money if you already have some?’ the Father grumbled.
‘Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,’ the little boy replied.
‘Daddy, I have $20 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.’
The Father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and He begged for his forgiveness.

It’s just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life. We should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts. Do remember to share that $20 worth of your time with someone you love.
If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of hours. But the family & friends we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.
Please don’t break this even if you only send it to one person.

We were best friends

We become lovers

I never thought the day would come

that I would have to bury you

It broke my heart to lose you

It broke my heart to let you go

I want to hold on

Just a little longer

I prayed to God to keep you

I want you to hold me

I want you to whisper in my ear

that it’s gonna be ok

I want to make love with you

I am the man I am today

because of you

You touched my heart

with your kindness

and your strength

in the weakest moments

When I felt like I couldn’t go on

you would hold onto me

and remind me

that I’m strong

You were the breathe of life

to me in a world so dead

you made me feel important

I can’t allow myself to love

anyone else

You were my one and only

I love you

and miss you.